Last_______?_________

My mind wanders today to the thousands of those I do not know, those who fill in the blank with so many things.

Their last normal day.
The last time Daddy came home from work. Maybe overly tired and grouchy, and you thought he was awful.
The last time Mom came home sharing about her day, and you weren't interested.
The last time you made plans for after work, and actually got to do what you planned.
The last time.  A million memories of that last day.

My heart hurts, and I pray for God's peace and comfort to those whose heart hurts more than I can fathom.

What would they change?

Suffering

Doesn't it just drive you crazy to see others doing things they shouldn't?  With age and experience those instances seem to have increased.  We see people we care about making wrong choices, exhibiting wrong attitudes, being rebellious or disobedient to what God has said...and we can't do a single thing about it.  

Ever see the movie Bruce Almighty?  There is a scene where Bruce asks God how to make someone love him.  You can't.

It's one of those movies that caused a lot of controversy, but watched with the knowledge that it is simply fiction, it causes some thinking.  Or it did for me anyway. 

How do you get people to love and be obedient to God? How do you make people see how trustworthy He is, that what He says do or do NOT do, is ALWAYS for a very good reason.  It is always for our ultimate good. sigh...

"I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death..." (Phillipians 3:10 NIV) 

The first half of that verse is so encouraging. To know Christ and come to know His power to resurrect and restore is wonderful.

The word resurrection in the original language has to do with a standing up again, raised to life, rise from the dead, recovery.   I want that don't you?  I want to recover from every heartache, every hard season of life, and I sure want death to not be the finality for me.  (And praise God, that matter is settled!) 

Resurrection from this earthly life is settled for me.  The very familiar John 3:16 and dozens more scriptures gives me a personal assurance of that. But what about this suffering? 

We can't enjoy the power without also participating in the suffering.  I know the power He has exercised in my life personally.  I know the differences He has made.  I have witnessed the life changes in not only myself, but others.  And I also know the suffering and heartsickness of seeing Him rejected and disobeyed.  

I have not been called to suffer my physical life being threatened.  I have not been beaten or put in a cell.  But it is also suffering to witness people struggling against the pricks of His Spirit, rebelling against a love that is beyond human capacity, continuing to chart their own path, demanding their own way regardless of whether God has even been consulted much less followed. 

Oh how it must hurt the heart of God to see our continued disregard. If it hurts my heart this much to see what I see, how heavy that suffering is to see the disregard and disobedience of the entire human race!

Me included.  

Training

I have never done weight training. But I have two sons who, at times have done it extensively.  I work with gals who have trainers who help them and encourage them as they tone and build muscles, become stronger and leaner

I have never done much of it in a physical sense, but I have sure done a lot in the spiritual sense.

In scripture, we are taught about strength.  In his second letter to Timothy, Paul encouraged young Timothy to "...be strong...endure..compete lawfully...study..." (2 Timothy chapter 2)

I applaud physical health and physical strength, yet our bodies are not our own. "...didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you.  God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 from The Message)

It matters that we are strong.  Lifting an increasingly heavy weight builds muscle. 

In the same way, enduring trials and the difficulties of life in the strength that our Creator provides in His Holy Spirit  builds spiritual stamina and faith muscles. 

I will be the first to tell you that I am physically weak.  Very weak.  I have never tried to be physically strong. If it is heavy, I don't even try to lift it.  I quit.  I call someone stronger than me to do it. That doesn't make me lazy, or irresponsible. 

In the same way, when I face a heavy and difficult life situation, I call Someone stronger than me.  In no way does that diminish my worth or value. 

The goal of my life is to face each heavy moment in victory, and I simply can not do that without some seriously strong help. 

Those who want strong muscles do the work. They sweat, grunt and groan with increasing repetition.

They follow the training, challenged and encouraged to persevere. If results are desired, then sacrifices must be made in order for those results to manifest.

I don't have a lot of desire to be physically strong.  But oh how I want to be strong in the undeserved love and grace of God! 

I am thankful to know His love more than before, but I believe scripture's teaching that His love is beyond my comprehension.  I will never know it fully on this side of eternity.

Yet, I purpose myself today to try.

Kicking

"...it is hard for you to kick against the pricks" (Acts 9:5 KJV).

Saul heard those words spoken from a blinding light straight out of the heavens.  He was traveling down a road, doing what he thought he should be doing, and God spoke.

I don't think this was the first time God had spoken to Saul.  Perhaps there were whispers before, nudges, maybe even harder.  Whatever it was, Saul kicked back. The man we know as Paul the apostle apparently kicked against the pricks of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus had intentions for Saul's life and Saul had intentions of eliminating all who followed Jesus.

Personally, I believe Paul was thoroughly convinced he was doing the right thing.  He was a Jew's Jew, educated by the best, and single minded about his obedience to the law he knew so well.

But he was wrong.

And God corrected him.

How many times had God tried to get his attention before that blinding light experience? Maybe none....scripture doesn't tell us, it just tells us that it was hard and pointless to rebel and refuse God's will.

I suppose Paul could still have refused obedience and submission.  But after losing his sight, hearing a voice nobody else heard, and given instructions of where to go and who to see, Paul came face to face with His Savior, and face to face with his own error. He was wrong.

I have never had a blinding light experience.  I have not heard a voice speak from the sky. But I have kicked against the pricks.  There have been many times that I felt that nudge, or heard that whisper in my heart, and just kicked it away.

Regret eventually comes.  Hindsight reveals how disobedient I was being to the God Who only wants to lead me in the right direction.

I remember a very old joke about someone complaining to a doctor about it hurting when they did a certain thing.  The doctor's prescribed treatment was to simply NOT do that.

When I am disobedient to God, it eventually hurts ME.  Whether it is that moment, that day, that week, or year, or whether it is on the other eternal side of this realm. My disobedience hurts me.

So, why don't I just "don't do that"?

I can answer that.  I don't do it because I am still learning that God is always right.  Whether I understand and agree, or whether I do not.

I purpose to stop kicking against the prick of His Holy Spirit.
I purpose to believe that what He directs is always, and ONLY, good.

Help

Every single one of us needs help.  Often.

My man can't hold the board up and nail it at the same time, so he needs my help holding it.
My coworkers are called on to hold the door open as I bring in boxes and sacks of supplies.
My employees unpack freight and process merchandise because I am busy cutting hair.
My housekeeper dusts my furniture because I work 5-6 days a week.
My friends listen to my whining because I have to vent.

It is hard for me to ask for help. That devil's lie has been used so effectively for so many years that I easily fall back into listening.  "It's all up to you, Connie.  This is your responsibility, your fault.  You alone should be the one to fix it. You are weak and useless if you can't."

He is a liar.

Life gets hard.  We make poor decisions. Situations get hard.  Circumstances are difficult. And we need help.

"From my distress I called upon the Lord.  The Lord answered me and set me in a large place.  The Lord is for me.  I will not fear."  Psalm 118:5-6 NASB

God knows every detail, every need, every fear, every anxiety.  He waits for our call, willing to step in when we truly submit and surrender to His will and way.  He sends help.  Often in the most unexpected ways.  We may not even recognize that it IS His answer and help until we are well past the moment.

For that person who needs help this day, you can be sure that God is willing and more than able.  From your distress, will you ask Him to reveal the enemy attack for what it is?

Will you admit that try as you may, you can't do life without failing miserably?

Will you believe that God does love you, enough even to die for you?

Will you trust Him enough to wait for the large place He has for you?

Perhaps you are in that large place already.  Wherever you find yourself, you can be certain that God knows where you are and why.

Do not fear.

Wrong Side Out

I spend hours in front of a mirror.  A big one.  A really good one, clear and clean.  I am so accustomed to it, I rarely see my own reflection.

 Occasionally I notice something about what it reflects and wonder out loud why everyone let me walk around like that, hair poking straight up, tags still on my clothing, shirt on backwards or wrong side out.  (I'm sure I am the only one who has things like that happen to them...)

There was no excuse. The mirror would have shown me, I didn't know what I looked like because I didn't look.

God's law as revealed to us in scripture shows us what we look like.  Jesus personified what a perfect obedient life looks like. He also made it possible for us to escape the penalty for failing to live that perfect life.  (Praise His holy Name)

Failing to learn what God has revealed to us in scripture is like me not checking out my reflection.  Just because I don't look doesn't mean I don't have some flaw that needs to be addressed and dealt with. Not looking doesn't change the fact that my shirt is on wrong side out.

Not looking into God's holy scripture won't change my wrong side out life.  It WILL reveal just how flawed I am. "..:it was the law that showed me my sin.  I would never have known that coveting was wrong if the law had not said, "You must not covet."  (Romans 7:7 NLT)

God's grace, thru the life and death of Jesus Christ, makes it possible to turn my whole life right, not just point out the flaws.  And there are plenty of them!

Don't fail or neglect to look into His Word, check yourself out. Not looking doesn't change a thing.  Looking prayerfully and then obediently will change everything!

Trenches

I have been reading The Battle Plan for Prayer. It is a Bible study written from the movie War Room. Prayer is a topic that is always fresh, never completely learned because there is always more with God. He is infinite.

Trench warfare was used as an example. So, this is not an original thought with me, but I just had to put the book down and sit at Jesus feet a few minutes.

I find myself on the battle ground regularly, don't you? Some things are bigger than others, mountain-top times of victory are times of praise, but other times I find myself dug in, hiding in a trench, avoiding the enemy attack as best I can. Often, sadly, I just retreat into that trench instead of using that trench to pray.

It is a devil's deceitful lie that it is better to charge the enemy, that it is cowardly to dig into that trench. The liar and enemy of our souls screams "Face me you coward!" That devil tries to convince us that it's all up to us, that we should charge across that battleground else all is lost.

I think of the images I have seen of battles fought in centuries past, soldiers marching to the beat of a drum across an open field, shooting until a last man is standing. I have so often thought how senseless that was. Yet I find myself guilty of having done just that in some of my spiritual battles.

Those early armies finally turned away from that sort of battle tactic and dug themselves some trenches.

I purpose my heart to dig into the trench, knowing that God is beside me and He has defeated even death. I have armies of God that are unseen, fighting beside me, fighting with me and for me, even going before me...I will never know what will never touch me because of that truth.

I also purpose to listen closely for His direction. When it is time to stand and fight, I trust Him to make His command clear. Over and over I surrender not to the enemy, but to my Creator God. I submit over and over to my Savior Jesus, not to the screaming enemy.

There is a time to charge, a time to use weapons. But the weapons to use are not those of the world. (2 Cor. 10:4) We can squat down in the trench and wield the deadliest weapon of all.

God's Word. Because what He says simply IS.

I purpose to KNOW what He has said.
I purpose to fight in HIS strength and not my own.
I purpose to "...take every single thought I have and capture it, purposing to be obedient to Christ in every confrontation." ( 2 Cor. 10:5 my own paraphrase)

Hallelujah.

Location

In the age of cell phones, we all know what location services are.  If we turn the location service off then other people don't see where we are and our applications don't fully work, I can't map my way if my map application can't tell where to start from. 

God asked Adam and Eve about their location.  "Where are you?" (Genesis 3:9)

God knew where they were.  It was Adam and Eve that needed to realize their location. 

God orchestrated an opportunity for His people to hear Him, recognize their wrong, and come honestly to Him.  But they hid, blamed, and made excuses.  Yet even in His judgment and the expulsion from the garden, God protected them.  

The first animals ever killed gave their lives to make garments that covered the shame and nakedness that resulted from sin.  God Himself made that sacrifice, just a picture of the ultimate and permanent sacrifice of Christ. 

Adam and Eve were sent out of God's garden, the Tree of Life guarded so that they would never eat from it.  Even in the midst of God's judgment and punishment, He was merciful that they not eat of it's fruit and live forever in the state of sin they were now in. 

Where are you?  I ask myself that question, too.  Am I hiding? 

We do well to turn our location services on, crying out to God, with undivided honest hearts, searching ourselves, laying all bare before Him. 

He knows it.  There is no hiding.  It is only from ourselves that we hide.  

Thinking....



“Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them…Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.

It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. 

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.

 Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."
Phillipians 4:5-9 from The Message

This passage has been heavy on my mind for several days.  It holds one of the lists we are given in scripture that is worth noting.

• True
• Honest
• Just
• Pure
• Lovely
• Good report
• Admirable
• Praiseworthy

That’s some good stuff.  But it is so much easier to dwell on the negatives.  Certainly, our enemy will influence us to do so, to criticize, tear down, accuse.  I surely don’t want people letting him influence them to be of that mindset toward me.  But so often, I confess that I am influenced to go there myself.  God help and forgive. Even more, restore what may have been damaged by my error.

Wherever my mind goes is often where my words and actions follow.  Paul’s instructions here are to be purposeful in our thinking.  Can we step back and examine what is influencing our thoughts?  What might a careful examination reveal?  What sources beside God’s will and Word might influence our thinking, thereby influencing our behavior and our words? 

There is so much wrong, everywhere we look we can easily find wrong!  Oh Lord God, help us to have eyes to see good things, and to be the instruments in Your Mighty Hand to build up, to encourage,  to bring unity, and to be people who love.  Especially when it is difficult to love.  Pour into us extra measures of love and grace and make us as free to give as we are to receive. 

 

Whole lotta shakin' goin' on....♪♫••*•♫♪♫•*•♫♪♪*•♫♪♪♫••*•♫♪♫•*•♫♪♪*•♫♪♪♫••*•♫♪♫•*•♫♪♪*

“At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, "Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens."

The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken--that is, created things--so that what cannot be shaken may remain.

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe..”(Hebrews 12:26-28 NIV)


We are abrupty brought to realize the fact…what we depend on is undependable.

Health fails, then we can’t work to earn the money we depend on, or we lose our job and lose the income we rely on to meet our needs.

Death strikes unannounced, and removes people we planned to grow old with. Accidents steal parts of what we imagined lay ahead.

Betrayal changes what we thought our future would be like.

Spouses leave, children rebel, parents forsake, and what we anticipated and assumed goes up in smoke.

Shaking. It knocks us off balance, brings us to our knees our heads reeling and our hearts breaking. Every single thing in this realm can be shaken and might fall apart at any moment.

There is only One Who is unshakable, only one thing sure, and that is eternity.

I purpose today to live in His kingdom, depend on His provision, and trust Him for tomorrow.

I purpose to appreciate what He has given but not cling to it, knowing that it is only Him that I can truly anchor myself in. He can and will remove everything else….

All is calm, all is bright…

Miles from home and family, a long and uncomfortable ride on a donkey at full term pregnancy, a city full of fellow travelers, no place to find shelter except a barn full of animals…yet everything calm and bright? 

When I get to heaven, I want to sit and visit with Mary.  I want to talk about all those things she “pondered in her heart.” (Luke 2:19 KJV) Was that night calm and bright?  

Just yesterday I heard a young woman testify about peace.  She had a tragic and terrifying event in her life.  Horror and fear were consuming for days and days.  Yet today, she marvels at the peace she has found. 

Mary was an ordinary young woman. Whatever calmness she experienced was from her God.  The young woman I mention receives her peace from the same God. 

Jesus spoke and the angry sea became calm. (Mark 4:39) 

He is Lord over creation, and we humans are His creations. 

He can speak calm into our lives.  

I am confident that Mary basked in His peace on more than one occasion.  She was an ordinary human being, chosen for an extraordinary task.  

What task might we be chosen for?

Will we, like Mary, say "Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38 NASB)

Mary was and will never be anything more than... human.  She was created and redeemed by the same God of heaven.  

With God’s help and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, we too can walk thru whatever God allows into our lives experiencing His peace.  

Even our chaotic world can indeed be calm and bright. 

 

Swimming upstream...

Times roll around when I find myself exhausted from all the effort.  I feel like a fish trying to swim upstream against a very swift current.   Three steps forward followed by two steps back.

I am reminded by that still small Voice that it’s not always as it seems.  Probably, it is seldom like it seems to me in the moment.

It is easy to become frustrated and discouraged.  Work hard, make some progress then watch things stop going smoothly and become challenging.   Again.

I hear in my spirit that whisper.  “Don’t focus on this moment.  Don’t assume the future.  Look behind you at all the hard places you have been and know that I am still God, still have purpose, and am still in command.”

I can’t swim much at all. I would surely have a hard time swimming upstream.  I can dog paddle just enough to keep my ears out of the water. (I hate having my ears fill with water.)

Why does God allow me to again and again face current?  Why when I finally get to smooth waters does He allow the current to become swift again?  The age-old question.  Why does God allow suffering?

I look back on the most difficult times of my life and see His fingerprints all over me.  I would not have the relationship with Him that I have were it not for times of difficulty.  The swimming upstream had purpose, to adapt me spiritually.

I must  face the struggles of today and in days ahead bravely and confidently with the knowledge of that truth.  “I consider that my present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in me.” (Romans 8:18 NIrV personalized by me)

God does not allow suffering into my life just to watch me squirm.  He intends to bring blessing from every pain.

He can.  He is God.  And I am simply not.

Hallelujah

Copycat...

When I was a child, being called a copycat was a bad thing.  When my little brother repeated every word I said, trying to make his voice sound like mine, it was more than annoying.  Telling him to ‘stop copying me’ was useless.

I have heard it said that it’s a compliment.  I can do without compliments.

Being a copycat isn’t a new thing.  Personally I think the devil started it all.  He wanted to be like God.  From the incident in the garden he has been copying God and he hasn’t stopped yet.

In Revelation, John described the vision he was given.  Chapter 13 describes a dragon, a beast from the sea, and a beast from the earth.   I don’t put a lot of time trying to assign an identity to them. Whoever they are they are certainly not God.  In fact, they are yet another copycat of Him.



Satan tries to pass himself off as triune.  Our God is three in one.  The holy Trinity.  Satan’s dragon and his beasts are three but they are separate and they are unholy.

“…the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast.” (Revelation 13:3 NIV)

Satan even counterfeits the wounds of Christ.

“ It also forced all people, great and small, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark.” (Revelation 13:16 NIV)

Satan counterfeits the seal of the Holy Spirit.

“…a second beast……exercised all the authority of the first beast on its behalf.” (Revelation 13:11-12 NIV)

Satan counterfeits the relationship and unity of God the Father and Jesus Christ the Son.


Satan is a copycat.

We are wise to know the authentic Creator so well that we spot a copycat without pause.


“Whoever has ears, let them hear.”(Revelation 13:9 NIV)

Thank You God for giving this Revelation to John.  Thank You that it has stood the test of time, preserved throughout the ages so that we know the end of our story.  Come what may, You are God and You will not be displaced from Your throne.  

Hallelujah.

Know it all...

I’ve been called one.  I’ve called a lot of other people the same.  Truth is, there’s not one.  Nobody knows it all except God.  Even Jesus Christ didn’t know it all.


“Heaven and earth will pass away. But my words will never pass away. No one knows about that day or hour. Not even the angels in heaven know.  The Son does not know. Only the Father knows.” (Mark 13:31-32 NIrV)

That used to be my excuse for not really applying myself to the study of  the book of Revelation.   Why try to figure it all out when Jesus Himself doesn’t know what day or hour?

I have discovered a huge truth this year as I attend Bible Study Fellowship and look at the scriptures of John’s Revelation.  It’s not about time stamps.  It’s not about knowing it all.

 I will never know it all until I awake on the other side of this realm.  Then I will “…see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (1Cor. 13:12b NIV)   I can’t wrap my finite brain around the magnificent truths that are so other-worldly than my reality.


But John promised, “Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.” (Revelation 1:3 NIV)

I didn’t know it all when I began this study, I don’t know it all yet, and don’t expect to at the end of the year.

But I am blessed in the attempt.  I am blessed because it is a book that reveals Jesus Christ.  Not time stamps.

Pointing a finger....

There’s a saying about finger pointing.  You point one at someone else and three more point back at you.  I was taught as a child it wasn’t polite to point.  As an adult, I have learned that it is not beneficial to point out fault.  I’m guilty of it still, but I know it is counter productive.

Nobody likes their shortcomings pointed out, but the devil will do his best to insure that our faults are pointed out, even proclaimed.  He is called ‘the accuser of our brothers and sisters’ in scripture.  (Revelation 12:10 NIV)  Satan got thrown out for his wrong behavior so he is quick to recognize wrong behavior in us and eager to point it out to God.  He accuses us every chance he gets.

And he gets plenty.

Jesus instructed us to  "Settle matters quickly with your adversary…” (Matthew 5:25 NIV)

When the devil accuses us we can be secure in acknowledging the truth that we do come up short. We are sinners.  Every single one of us.  “..for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23 NIV)

I agree with Satan that I sin frequently and punishment is deserved.

But I do not live in condemnation.  I do not live under a burden of guilt.  Like those in John’s vision I have “…defeated him through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of my witness.” (Revelation 12:11 The Message personalized by me)

I have not defeated him by anything I have done or said.  The blood over the doorpost of my heart has defeated him.

My testimony of His grace defeats my enemy.

Not my rule keeping.
Not my attempts to alleviate my guilt
Nothing I do to make myself look better,.
No behavior I can add or subtract.
Not an emotional high.
Not enough time under baptismal water.
Not numerous times down the church aisle.
Not laying myself on the carpet of a church altar.

Absolutely no activity.

 “marturia- evidence given (judicially or generally): - record, report, testimony, witness.” (Strong’s Hebrew and Greek Dictionary)

My report echos John’s words on the shores of Jordan.

My fingers point with John’s.

"Behold, the Lamb of God!"  (John 1: 36 NIV)

Fight like the devil....

I’ve used that phrase.  It’s not a good phrase.  I need to take it out of my vocabulary.

The devil does fight.  He has been fighting for a very long time.  “And there was war in heaven…” (Revelation 12:7 NIV)

 Fighting like the devil… yes, he most certainly is.  But he is a defeated foe.



I think of a scene in  the movie O Brother, Where Art Thou, where two of the characters discuss the devil.

Pete: I've always wondered, what's the devil look like?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork.

I am certain the devil doesn’t look anything like that, and I am even more certain that the battle between God’s holiness and the devil’s fight is decided.


The more I study John’s revelation, the more I realize I can’t grasp it all.  But I am blessed in the effort.

Sweet and sour.....

In the revelation given to John, there is a scene where John is instructed to take a little book from a certain angel and eat it.  He was warned that it would taste sweet but would be sour in his stomach.

"Then the voice that I had heard from heaven spoke to me once more: "Go, take the scroll that lies open in the hand of the angel who is standing on the sea and on the land." So I went to the angel and asked him to give me the little scroll. He said to me, "Take it and eat it. It will turn your stomach sour, but 'in your mouth it will be as sweet as honey.'"   I took the little scroll from the angel's hand and ate it. It tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth, but when I had eaten it, my stomach turned sour.” (Revelation 10:8-10 NIV)

It reminds me of  when I was pregnant  and I got up at 2 a.m. every single morning for weeks and weeks, made myself  pancakes with lots of butter and syrup, ate them, and went back to bed to suffer horrible heartburn the rest of the night.

Every time I would promise myself that I would NOT do that again.  Then I’d wake up the next night at 2 a.m. and do it all again. The sweet midnight snack was something I craved uncontrollably for some reason.  But when it hit my stomach is was not so sweet.

Digesting what God says in His book can sure be the same way.  God’s Word is life giving, freedom bringing, peace making, and it is absolute truth.  Being instructed by God thru His Word and thru the power of the Holy Spirit is a sweet sweet thing.  We bear the fruits of His Spirit, love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22)

But the conviction of the Holy Spirit is often like the heartburn after my 2 a.m. pancakes.

 There is such sweetness in the grace and mercy of God.  Yet as I measure the truths of scripture against the sin it reveals in my life there is a sourness in the pit of my heart.  Heart burn.

Jesus left His glory to get us out of the sin-mess we are all in.  What a sweet and precious thing He has done for us.

God has always loved us enough to not allow us to remain in a wrong condition.  It will never be His fault if we stay that way.  He will lavish us with His love and mercy as He pricks our hearts to make us aware of the sourness within us and around us.

Like the 2 a.m. pancakes, I want to always crave His teachings…even though it often brings some discomfort with it.

Restraining order....

My husband has been in law enforcement since before we met.  I’ve learned lots of the language and terminology involved.  Google says a restraining order is “ a temporary court order issued to prohibit an individual from carrying out a particular action, especially approaching or contacting a specified person.”

Such an order is often issued by a judge to aid a law enforcement officer to protect a person or the public or entity.   As a result of being served with such an order, a person is commanded to stay away, to cease some activity or behavior, or to not have contact.

It works most of the time, if for no other reason than fear of being thrown in jail if you do not comply.

As I read thru Revelation 11 I thought about the restraints that God Himself has issued.  I confess I am baffled by the meaning of so much I read in this Revelation John was given. But just as He promised, I am blessed.  I see glimpses of the character of God in His majesty and holiness as He gives fallen man myriads of opportunity to believe and repent.

I see the restraining order of human history past and the promises of human history yet future.

I don’t have the restraining patience of God.  But He is all powerful and because He has the last word in every single thing, He restrains and keeps perfect order in the course of human history.  When it looks like the power of darkness prevails, it is not so.  Even in the vision John was given, the rebellious unbelievers seemed to claim the victory.

“ When they (the two witnesses) have finished their testimony, the beast that comes up out of the abyss will make war with them, and overcome them and kill them….their dead bodies will lie in the street …..peoples and tribes and tongues and nations will look at their dead bodies for three and a half days, and will not permit their dead bodies to be laid in a tomb. And those who dwell on the earth will rejoice over them and celebrate; and they will send gifts to one another, because these two prophets tormented those who dwell on the earth…..


 But after the three and a half days, the breath of life from God came into them, and they stood on their feet; and great fear fell upon those who were watching them.  And they heard a loud voice from heaven saying to them, "Come up here." Then they went up into heaven in the cloud, and their enemies watched them.” (Revelation 11:7-12 NIV)

God has often issued a restraining order.  He issues it.  He enforces it.  He lifts it.

When He sees fit.

He is God and I am not.

Hallelujah.

Don't tell....

John was ‘the disciple whom Jesus loved.”  (John 13:23 NIV)  He was with Jesus day after day.  He loved Jesus and knew that Jesus loved him.  And it was John that was chosen to be shown what lay ahead.  John was given the Revelation of Jesus Christ and he was told to "Write on a scroll what you see…” (Revelation 1:11 NIV)

And boy was there plenty to see.  It seems that John struggled to find language to describe what he was being shown.  He was instructed to send what he recorded to God’s people, the churches.

So John wrote and told it…detail after detail.

But then after writing and writing John “heard a voice from heaven say, "Seal up what the seven thunders have said and do not write it down."

I wonder how hard it was for John to not write this part down with the rest.  Once he got started telling all he saw, did he have a hard time not telling the rest of the story?

Just like Daniel was told that some things weren’t to be revealed, John was told not to reveal certain parts of this revelation.    “He said, "Go your way, Daniel, for these words are concealed and sealed up until the end time.” (Daniel 12:9 NASB)



There is a common thing among many of us that prods us to tell everything we know.  We often want to be the first to tell it, whether good or bad news.  Especially if it is something that should be kept secret or quiet.  Those are hard things to keep to ourselves.  Many times we tell it in ways that puts our own spin on it.


 I have no doubt that John didn’t spin anything about these magnificent scenes.  John saw and heard such otherworldly things, how could he possibly need to spin it?  He just wrote what he saw and we read thru his words and wrestle to find the nuggets of truth.  We ponder the meanings of all the symbols.

But just as scripture says,  “How blessed the hearers and keepers of these oracle words, all the words written in this book! Time is just about up.” (Revelation 1:3 The Message)

There is indeed blessing in reading John’s account.   It is within our nature to want to know what the future holds.  We want and need to be ready for the end that will certainly come.

But the more important thing in our waiting is the Lord Jesus Who is revealed in John’s account.  We live for Him now and trust Him with what is coming, knowing that when He places His seal on us we are protected and loved.   Whatever John did not write won’t matter in our now.  There are obviously some things that just do not need to be told.

Silence is golden....

My brain has so much going on it is too noisy to sleep.  I can’t seem to turn it off tonight.  It has been a busy day, lots of people, lots of business, lots of fun, and lots of details to tend to.  I need at least one more of ME.  I’m not complaining.  It’s a wonderful problem to have.


I remember when my boys were still at home.  There was lots of noise then too.  I remember craving just an hour of silence.  Then I woke up one day and had it.  They were grown and gone and there was no noise.  Empty nest they call it.  The noise is good to hear again when they are under this roof to visit.

God has always taken care of my needs.  He has even blessed me enough for it to pour out on others.  I sure am glad He has the steering wheel because some days I feel like I’m on a ten lane freeway!

Yep.  Today was noisy and busy.  Tonight it is still and quiet and my mind is to busy to sleep.  It is in the sleepless quiet that I recall “….the silence in heaven…” (Revelation 8:1 NIV)

The Bible study I attend is studying  Revelation this year.  Up until the scene in chapter 8 there has been anything but quiet.  There are spectacular events described, Jesus indicating His power and authority, the throne room of heaven, and the multitudes praising The One upon the throne.

“….Then there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.” (Revelation 8:1 NIV)

The hush of heaven.  It brings me almost to tears thinking  about the anticipation in that half hour.

I think about the old song lyrics, “Silence is golden, golden.  But my eyes still see.”   I wonder if it is not when we hush our mouth and quiet our brain that we really see.  Stop talking.  Stop thinking.  And just be quiet before God.

The multitude in heaven certainly got an eye full in their silence.