It wasn't meant to be advice really. It was just a comment in a casual conversation.
"Just look at me", she said.
It has always been true of me that I learn best from a negative experience or example. I have been in situations that made me purpose to never be guilty of some wrong behavior or attitude. I have learned how I do NOT want to treat other people. I have learned how I do NOT want to make a mess of relationships. I have learned how I do NOT want to behave, react, or respond.
I have learned those things by being treated poorly, by seeing others suffer because of poor treatment, by seeing relationships crumble and words ripping thru hearts.
At my age, I might have expected to have it all mastered by now. But just look at me too.
My mother's words come repeated from my own heart tonight. Just look at me, I have learned a lot, and I still fail miserably. Don't we all....
I look at her and know that she had hour after hour to look back in regret. Her situation might have been different.
I look at me and know that there is much to regret as well. My life might have been different. I might have been a better wife, mother, friend, employee....I might have been a better person.
But as my first daughter-in-law often says, 'It is what it is'.
So I purpose tonight to take my mother's unintended advice. I purpose to not be defeated by the enemy's accusations over the regret that I do have. I purpose to hear the soft still Voice whispering and leading forward. He is able to "restore what the locusts have eaten"(Joel 2:25)
I purpose to learn as much as I can from every wrong choice and every painful mistake. And I purpose to live in victory not regret, knowing that He is more than able to handle what I can not.
Hallelujah.
