Getting ready to leave....

Some days from now, I’m taking a little trip to see my oldest son and his family.  Try as I may, there seems to be so much preparation to be gone from home.

I try to think ahead and take care of any problem that might arise from my absence, troubleshooting as best I can for the days ahead that I will not be in my normal routine.  I have perfected the packing.  I have clothing there so I don’t take much.  I can get by with just a few cosmetics.

What I think I need for the day of travel is about equal to my needs for the entire stay.  A day of travel requires a good book, a fully charged iPad, a light cover of some kind, and plenty of snacks.

As I made my preliminary list tonight, I thought about the lyrics to a song we often sing.

“Laying up my treasures in that home above
Trusting, fully trusting in the Savior's love;
Doing what I can for heaven's Holy Dove
I'm a getting ready to leave this world.”

I intend to be prepared to leave on this trip.  But more than that, my intention is to be ready to leave this world.

My leaving to see family is a few days. If nothing goes awry, I will go.

My leaving this world will be some unexpected day, maybe years ahead, maybe days, maybe moments. But I will go.  That is for certain.


“I'm getting ready to leave this world,
Getting ready for gates of pearl;
Keeping my record bright
Watching, both day and night
I'm a getting ready to leave this sinful world

Trusting in the riches of His saving grace,
In each earthly trial I His love can trace.
Sure that up in heaven I shall find a place,
I'm a getting ready to leave this world.
To prepare a mansion, Jesus said, "I'll go,
If it were not true I would have told you so,"
Just a little while to linger here below,
I'm a geting ready to leave this world.”


I’m looking forward to this visit.  I hope I leave nothing undone here that I could have done.  Yes, I’m getting ready. But, Father nudge me on, let me not leave any thing undone that You have for me to do.  I look forward to my arrival.

“…now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city.” (Hebrews 11:16 KJV)

Hallelujah

Unpacking....

I moved every single thing out of my closet last night.  I unpacked the whole closet, with some muscle help from my husband.  I now have clothing piled up in my living room and boxes of shoes stacked in my dining area.  Packing all that back into a same sized space seemed impossible.  I have it spread out all over the place.

I’ve heard the word ‘unpack’ used to describe Bible study.   A passage of scripture can be read thru and the words understood, but when individual words and phrases are ‘unpacked’, very often new meaning and application are realized.  Study is harder than reading.  Study requires some unpacking, and we are wise to heed the advice we are given about doing it.

“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15 KJV)

I looked up the original word for study in this verse, it is ‘spoudazō’ and it means to exert one’s self, give diligent effort.

So Paul is telling us, as he is telling Timothy, that we should study, that the goal is to rightly divide the word of truth, that it is possible to be unprepared and ashamed, and that God  sees and cares whether or not we do. That is how I begin to unpack that verse.

Just as I unpack my closet, I ask myself some questions.  Who, what, where, when, why, how.

What is this, where did I get it, when will I use it, why did I keep it, who can use it, how do I dispose of it?

In unpacking scripture, those same type questions help shed light on the task of understanding and applying.

Who?
What?
When?
Where?
How?
Why?

If you want to learn better Bible study methods, I highly recommend Bible Study Fellowship.  Texarkana has a day women’s class and an evening women’s class.  I’d be happy to give you more information or point you in the right direction.   Classes start in a couple weeks and follow the school calender year.

It changed my life.

Trash or treasure.....

We have begun a remodel.  Before it’s over, everything in this house will be touched except the kitchen items, and those might be if I don’t run out of steam.  Today, I helped go thru things at my mother and daddy’s house.  Mother is in a nursing facility and Daddy spends his time going between us kids, most of that time at my middle sister’s house.  She has the advantage over the rest of us.  She has a big pond with lots of fish right out in front of her house, and my daddy does indeed like to fish.

My man and I spend two hard days at their house last year.  I went thru clothes and food and threw away several big trash bags of stuff.  Still, the small house was packed.  Today, we dug a little deeper and sifted thru drawers and closets full of all sorts of things.

The house has been uninhabited most of the last year.  Mice had packed away acorns in all sorts of places leaving behind little pellets of nastiness. It made me think of the warning we are given about what happens to an uninhabited place.

 “….it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then the evil spirit goes and takes seven other spirits more evil than itself. They go in and live there. That man is worse off than before." (Luke 11:25-26 NIrV)

We worked hard a year ago cleaning that house, but we left it empty and today, I found it in worse shape than the first go around.

I found a lot of trash again today.  Out of date food and medicines.  Melted vitamin capsules.  Dry rotted clothing.

Then I found two boxes of envelopes that would almost crumble when touched.  The box was littered with acorns and little black pellets too, but this box was not trash.  This box was treasure.  Letters.

My dad was in the army for a short while and stationed in Ft. Lewis, Washington when I was born.  The letters began before my parents were married.  One box from Mother to Daddy, another box from Daddy to Mother.  I only scanned one.  I felt like I was intruding so I folded it away.

In another drawer full of paper, acorns, and little black pellets, I almost threw away a stack of school work.  My school work.  Crayon marked paper, crooked letters on Big Chief notebook paper.  I would never have expected to find anything like that.

Trash or treasure?  I suppose it depends…..

During this 60th season of my life, I am filtering thru the trash and treasure of both my childhood and my married, child-rearing life.  I see and touch so many things that have memories attached and I have to decide, is it trash or treasure?   Sometimes there’s a smile, laughter, other times a tear and great sadness.  But at the bottom of it all, is a realization of what a blessed life I have had.  Thank You Father.

“You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.” (Psalm 56:8 The Message)

Singing a new song....

My husband was invited to share in a special service of a nearby black church.  The meeting was begun some years ago  and is held every year to honor a lady and the ‘old time religion’ she strived to preserve.  I wish now I had asked more questions.  We went because we were invited to sing, but as the service proceeded I found myself completely unfamiliar with the way things were done.

I know a lot of songs, but I found myself trying to sing along to a completely new song.  There was not a hymn book.  They was a piano, but it wasn’t used but a couple times.  There were some young girls that danced to songs that were new to me.  I purposed myself to remember the lyrics to one of them, ‘Take Me To The King’.  I was blessed to have been there but I left unsettled.  Uncomfortable.  NOT because of my black brethren but because of my own ignorance.  I had no idea how different my worship style is from theirs.  Not right or wrong.  Just different.

A few hours later, my phone lit up to remind me of the daily devotional.  God has such perfect timing and such purpose in every single thing….

“Hallelujah! Sing to GOD a brand-new song, praise him in the company of all who love him.  Let all Israel celebrate their Sovereign Creator, Zion's children exult in their King.  Let them praise his name in dance; strike up the band and make great music!
And why? Because GOD delights in his people, festoons plain folk with salvation garlands!  Let true lovers break out in praise, sing out from wherever they're sitting,
Shout the high praises of God, brandish their swords in the wild sword-dance--
A portent of vengeance on the God-defying nations, a signal that punishment's coming,
Their kings chained and hauled off to jail, their leaders behind bars for good,
The judgment on them carried out to the letter --and all who love God in the seat of honor! Hallelujah!” (Psalm 149 The Message)

The name of the church was Mt. Zion, there were songs new to me, there were children exulting their King, there was praising Jesus in dance., and there were plain folks breaking out in praise, singing out from where they were sitting, shouting praises.

The man who brought the sermon remarked that there won’t be special heavens for Methodist, Baptist, black, or white.  Amen.  And one day we will all gather again, not at Mt. Zion church, but ON Mt. Zion, where we will join in together, singing a new song….

“I saw--it took my breath away!--the Lamb standing on Mount Zion, One Hundred and Forty-four Thousand standing there with him, his Name and the Name of his Father inscribed on their foreheads.  And I heard a voice out of Heaven, the sound like a cataract, like the crash of thunder. And then I heard music, harp music and the harpists.....

....singing a new song before the Throne…”
(Revelation 14:1-3 The Message)


Hallelujah.

A hard fall....

I have taken a couple of hard falls.  I got hit from behind by an out-of-control snow skier.  I ran over a dog while on my bicycle.  The pavement I hit wasn’t quite as soft as the snow was.

Both of those falls took me by surprise and nearly knocked me out.  I thought I was in complete control of my body, completely balanced and confident in my surroundings.  But I fell hard.

I imagine other cultures have the same issues, but this is my culture, the only one I know, the one I live in and am a part of.  This culture is in danger of a very hard fall.

Americans alive today have never known anything but freedom.  Even the poorest among us have resources to appeal to for aid.  For the most part, we call ourselves God fearing people.  I wonder just how much we are blinded to?  In a few short days I will be 60 years old.  I pretty much see black and white, and I have seen the world around me mix the two and form so many gray areas that are still just plain jet black to me.

Sexual habits.
Abortion.
Alcohol and other drug use and abuse.
Recognition and acceptance of other gods as equal to The Creator God of the universe.
I could make a long long list.

Sometimes I may sound like the wailing Jeremiah.  Certainly, as I read his words my heart cries out in agreement.

 “Jerusalem remembers the day she lost everything, when her people fell into enemy hands, and not a soul there to help. Enemies looked on and laughed, laughed at her helpless silence. Jerusalem, who outsinned the whole world, is an outcast. All who admired her despise her now that they see beneath the surface. Miserable, she groans and turns away in shame.  She played fast and loose with life, she never considered tomorrow, and now she's crashed royally, with no one to hold her hand…”(Lamentations 1:7-9 The Message)

Hundreds of years later, in 70 A.D.,  the Roman emperor Titus destroyed mighty Jerusalem.  He minted a coin to commemorate his victory, Jerusalem’s loss and his gain.  The image he used on the coin was a bowed down, grief shrouded woman.

“….. How like a widow is she, who once was great among the nations! She who was queen among the provinces has now become a slave.”(Lamentations 1:1 NIV)

I remember when sin was black and there was not so much whitewashing it.  I have lived to see so much ground surrendered to the enemy of our souls. At this moment, I hope I don’t live to see a hard fall that threatens what we think is so secure.  Be not deceived, if the holy city of Jerusalem fell, so also can America.  Already we have witnessed some shakings.  We have seen collapse and devastation.  Must every single one of us personally experience a devastating hard fall, or can we learn from history, both Biblical and current?

God allowed a very hard fall to His people of Jerusalem.  How dare we think we are above the same.


“But you have come to …… the heavenly Jerusalem…..to the general assembly and church of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the Judge of all…..and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood…..See to it that you do not refuse Him who is speaking. For if those did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, much less will we escape who turn away from Him who warns from heaven.  And His voice shook the earth then, but now He has promised, saying, "YET ONCE MORE I WILL SHAKE NOT ONLY THE EARTH, BUT ALSO THE HEAVEN."  This expression, "Yet once more," denotes the removing of those things which can be shaken, as of created things, so that those things which cannot be shaken may remain.  Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe;  for our God is a consuming fire.” (Hebrews 12:22-29 NASB)

In some ways I am unsure about our future.  I care about those who are still on ground that can be shaken.  There is only one sure place to stand, and it is not American values, money, power, or any other such thing.  The only unshakeable place is in the Kingdom of God made possible thru Jesus the Christ.
Hallelujah.

Or else....

When I hear an authority figure use the term 'or else', I know there are consequences involved.  I know that if I don’t conform, there will be penalty.

If I get caught.

I might get by with speeding.  If radar registers me, there will likely be consequences.

I am quite familiar with the speed laws.  I am very familiar with God’s law.  Both are in place for my benefit, for personal protection and for protecting others. I might avoid a radar.  I might talk my way out of a speeding ticket.  But God can not be avoided or manipulated.

I confess that I am a sinner.  Every day is a battle.  I am given endless opportunities to choose evil over good.  Our enemy’s methods have not changed nor has he given up.  I don’t pretend to be less sinful, for I know that in God’s eyes, sin is equally ugly.  I am so very thankful that He sees the righteousness of Christ when He looks at me.

Yet, I look at the world and wonder how our Father can hold back His judgment today.  Scripture gives us history of His judgment falling on rebellious people.

“Morning after morning and long into the night I kept after you, sending you all those prophets, my servants, begging you, "Please, please--don't do this, don't fool around in this loathsome gutter of gods that I hate with a passion."  But do you think anyone paid the least bit of attention or repented of evil or quit offering sacrifices to the no-gods? Not one.   So I let loose with my anger…” (Jeremiah 44:4-6 The Message)

God speaks to us, instructs us to obey, “…or else.”

When we rebel in disobedience to God, we suffer.  Maybe immediately, maybe not.  But eventually the consequences come.  We may think we are enjoying our rebellion but be not deceived.  Judgment will come and the pleasure we thought we were having will be gone.

“…. I'll banish every sound of joy--singing, laughter, marriage festivities, genial workmen, candlelit suppers.” (Jeremiah 25:10 The Message)


I purpose to be easily taught, and easily disciplined.

Sitting in the shade....

Today the air had a bit of change in it.  The temperature was not as high, the air was not quite as heavy.   I enjoyed just sitting on the patio in the shade.  Many times I have sat and lifted my face to the suns warmth, or sat close to a fire built in the patio chiminea.  I have sat wrapped in a blanket.  Today, I sat with my Hawaiian Breeze fan blowing.

God certainly knew what He was doing when He gave us changing seasons.  When we are bitter cold, we welcome the heat.  When we are sweating in the sweltering heat, we welcome the cool.  God is good.   All the time.

It is easy and comforting to think of God’s love.  His grace and mercy are soothing, reassuring.  But we are foolish to enjoy cool breezes and warm fuzzies without recognizing God’s judgment and wrath.  He is God.  He will have His way.

“See, the Name of the LORD comes from afar, with burning anger and dense clouds of smoke; his lips are full of wrath, and his tongue is a consuming fire.  His breath is like a rushing torrent, rising up to the neck. He shakes the nations in the sieve of destruction; he places in the jaws of the peoples a bit that leads them astray.”(Isa. 30:27-28 NIV)


I admit, it is difficult for me to think about God’s wrath, about His judgment.  But those facets of His nature are as real as His love, grace, and mercy.  Our brother Peter explained it well.

 “God isn't late with his promise….. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn't want anyone lost. He's giving everyone space and time to change.  But when the Day of God's Judgment does come, it will be unannounced, like a thief.…..Since everything here today might well be gone tomorrow, do you see how essential it is to live a holy life?   Daily expect the Day of God, eager for its arriva…..So, my dear friends, since this is what you have to look forward to, do your very best to be found living at your best, in purity and peace.   Interpret our Master's patient restraint for what it is: salvation.……Be on guard lest you lose your footing and get swept off your feet by these lawless and loose-talking teachers.  Grow in grace and understanding of our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ. Glory to the Master, now and forever!”(2 Peter 3:9-18 The Message)

It is right to bask in the warmth of His love, it is right to enjoy the cool breezes He sends, those that bring refreshment to our weary souls.

But never without recognizing His sovereignty.
He is God.
And we are not.

Wake up....

I am very sensitive to medications.  A simple Tylenol makes me sleepy.  After a medical procedure where anesthesia is involved, it seems to take days and days for me to really wake up and stay alert.  Oh, I wake up in the recovery room, but I stay groggy.  I can’t fathom why anyone likes a drugged and numb feeling.

I’ve read the advice of the Wisdom Writer in Proverbs often.

 “Those who spend too much time with wine. Or those who like to taste wine that is mixed with spices.  Don't look at wine when it is red. Don't look at it when it bubbles in the cup. And don't look at it when it goes down smoothly.   In the end it bites like a snake. It bites like a poisonous serpent.  Your eyes will see strange sights. Your mind will imagine weird things.   You will feel like someone sleeping on the ocean. You will think you are lying among the ropes in a boat.   "They hit me," you will say. "But I'm not hurt! They beat me. But I don't feel it! When will I wake up so I can find another drink?" (Proverbs 23:30-35 NIrV)

Medications and anesthesia are a blessing and necessary.  I am especially  thankful for them when I have to have a surgical procedure, but I want as little of it as possible.  I want to be awake and alert. Being groggy and grouchy about it, I wonder in what other ways I might not be fully awake and alert.  Scripture also speaks to us about that very thing.

“But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God.   The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed.   We can't afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight.  Get out of bed and get dressed! Don't loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!”(Romans 13:11-14 The Message)

Am I awake?  Or am I sedated, lulled into passivity, unaware of the precious moments passing by?  I fear I have dozed off and wasted some precious time.  Rest is needed.  Physical and spiritual.  But there is a time when we need to wake up and get up.  There are things to do and people to see.

 I purpose to heed the words spoken to the church  of Sardis in the Revelation,.

“Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die……..I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you.  Yet you have a few people in Sardis who have not soiled their clothes. They will walk with me, dressed in white, for they are worthy.  The one who is victorious will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out the name of that person from the book of life, but will acknowledge that name before my Father and his angels.  Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says…” (Revelation 3:2-6 NIV)

Raise my own arm...

I dropped a favorite Pyrex measuring bowl because I forgot to use my left arm.  I can barely lift my right arm high enough to reach the middle shelf in my kitchen cabinets.  I can’t reach the products in my supply cabinet at work without tiptoeing or using my left hand.

Using the physical therapy pulley over my door at home helps me raise it up, but I have not been able to raise it under my own power.  I need and want to raise my own arm.

My man and my salon staff have helped in my difficulty.  They have reached the things I can not.

Once a few years ago, I was stretched in a different way.  I had a business to run, a full appointment book, and had been given the opportunity to lead a discussion group in a Bible Study group every week.  I was discussing it with a friend and every time I voiced an excuse, she countered with the reason I could and should.  She offered to be in the background doing anything she could do in my stead.  And she did.  I still often call her my Aaron.  She stood under my arm and raised it when I couldn’t stretch it far enough.

It is hard for me to accept help, even harder to ask, but  I have learned that it is necessary. It is not always just for me.  Sometimes others are blessed in the helping.  Often, we may miss our blessing because we neglect an opportunity to be the one to hold up another child of God, supporting the very work that God is doing.

Moses accepted help from Aaron and Hur.  His arms failed him.  He didn’t have the stregth to raise them so his companions stepped in.   They saw victory that day.

  “… Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill.  As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning.  When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up--one on one side, one on the other--so that his hands remained steady till sunset.  So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.” (Exodus 17:10-13 NIV)

I hope to soon be able to raise my own arm without even thinking about it.  But if God allows my arm to stay bound, I will just expect the Aarons and Hurs to continue to be sent by the God Who has always been faithful to provide.

And I purpose to be the Aaron or Hur that He sends to others.  Lord, don't let me be blind to those opportunities.  I don't want to miss my blessing..

Clogged up....

Indoor plumbing is something I have always had.  My great grandmother didn’t have it, and when I spent the night with her it was a bit traumatic to walk down the path to the outhouse or pull out the chamber pot out from under the bed.  And the smell….ewww.

Our house is 30+ years old.  We have never had many plumbing problems.  Never had any problems with our shower.  When it all got stripped away to remodel,  the drain was not exactly clear.  I wonder how long it might have taken for there to have been a real problem arise.  I am thankful that drain didn't refuse to do its job and push the water out into the bathroom floor instead!!

It is a reminder to me that none of us knows what lies just beyond what we see.  We have no idea what the next moment holds.  A cancer cell beginning to multiply, a driver texting and crossing the line, a blood vessel blowing up, or a heart giving up.  We have no guarantee of a next breath.


“ Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money."   Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." (James 4:13-15 NIV)


It is good to plan and prepare, but we are wise to hold our plans loosely.  Our plans may fail. Someone else’s poor choice could interfere.

And certainly, our plans do not trump the plan of our Father.

Stripped down....

We are having our bathroom remodeled.  Today, I came home to find all the old shower and cabinet gone.  There wasn’t a trace of it left.  It had been torn out and carried away, leaving the space stripped down to the stud walls.

I am relieved that I did not witness the demolition.  I am so glad all traces of it were gone before I got home.  Seeing it being ripped and torn would have been unpleasant for me.  I don’t think I could have ever done it myself even if I were able.

But it was necessary.  The old fixtures have served us well but our needs are changed, and they may change a lot more in the coming years.

There are often times in life when some things need to be stripped away or torn down.  Bad relationships,  wrong behavior,  lifestyles that are out of control.  There are times when drastic measures have to be taken.  

“There is a time to tear down. And there's a time to build up.  There is a time to cry. And there's a time to laugh. There is a time to be sad. And there's a time to dance.  There is a time to scatter stones. And there's a time to gather them. There is a time to hug. And there's a time not to hug.   There is a time to search. And there's a time to stop searching. There is a time to keep. And there's a time to throw away.  There is a time to tear. And there's a time to mend. There is a time to be silent. And there's a time to speak.” (Ecc. 3:3b-7 NiRV)

Things don’t always stay the same.  There are things we want changed, but often we have to wait for the change to come.  Sometimes a very long time.  Waiting is not easy nor is it fun.

The stripping down of my bathroom walls was a mainly a matter of finance.  I have wanted it done for several years but the need was not great.  As the years pile up on us, the need begins to be greater.  Those handrails will be nice.

I have learned that timing is important.  I have learned that living in God’s timing is the best.  Resisting, doubting, and resenting God’s perfect time brings no joy.  Operating outside of His leading or permission seldom brings satisfaction and reward.  Even when the wait is very long, it is worth the wait.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” (Ecc. 3:11 NIV)



Hallelujah.

Spot showers....

It is hot. And dry.  Really dry.
Never mind that just a few weeks ago there were floodwaters everywhere around here, today, it is D.R.Y.

I was turning the lights off in our store this evening, getting ready to close down for the day, and I heard what I thought was the air conditioner running.  I had just turned that one off.  It wasn’t the air conditioner at all, it was rain pounding on the metal roof of the building.

Rain?  I had no idea there was a cloud anywhere near much less rain!

It rained hard for several minutes, the parking lot got a good washing off.  I drove home to find out that not a drop fell on our parched yard.

No fair.  Why did it not rain on my yard?!?  Why pour down water on yards where folks don’t even pick up their trash much less manicure their lawns.  Why not rain on my grass and let their trashy yard stay dusty, they wouldn’t even notice much less care!

“This is what God does. He gives his best--the sun to warm and the rain to nourish--to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty.  If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that.   If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”   (Matthew 5:45b-48 The Message)

God didn’t withhold the rain from my yard to show His disfavor, nor did He send the rain on that trashy yard to show some special favor.   But even if He did, it’s His perogative.  He blesses as He chooses, whether I understand, approve, or whether I do not.

 “…… for He maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matthew 5:45 KJV)

Doing without it makes me realize what a blessing it is.  Maybe I will appreciate it when it does come.

Lord, forgive this wilderness traveler for grumbling, help me appreciate the blessings of today, and not resent the spot showers that do not fall on me.  I have blessing that reaches far beyond just a spot…..

Unclean house...

We have lived in this little house for over 30 years.  I recently decided it was time to make some changes in order for it to serve us as well in our last years as it has served us as we raised our family here.  I am preparing for the work to begin so I had to empty out some cabinets where a bigger shower will be built, one that will accommodate a wheelchair should the need ever arise.

This bathroom cabinet was full of course.  I have cleaned it out several times over the years and discarded old medicines and half empty bottles.  But I have never completely emptied it.  What a mess.  Where does the dirt come from and how does it get behind the closed cabinet doors?

What makes it unclean creeps in.   It didn’t happen quickly.  The dust settled slowly, the spiders crept in unnoticed and spun their webs.  So it is with our lives.

I remembered some of the Levitical laws about an unclean house.

“… to purify the house by taking two birds, some cedar wood, scarlet thread, and hyssop.He will slaughter one bird over fresh water in a clay pot.  Then he will take the cedar wood, the hyssop, the scarlet thread, and the living bird, dip them in the blood of the killed bird and the fresh water and sprinkle the house seven times, cleansing the house with the blood of the bird, the fresh water, the living bird, the cedar wood, the hyssop, and the scarlet thread. Last of all, he will let the living bird loose outside the city in the open field. He has made atonement for the house; the house is clean. “ (Leviticus 14:49-53 NIV)

Mercy!  I sure am glad I am not required to do all that.  Ick.

My house is getting some remodeling.  I’m cleaning out and throwing away.  I’ve found some saved treasures and  found a lot of  trash. When Jesus taught about cleaning house, He warned that just throwing out what makes it dirty doesn’t guarantee cleanliness.

 "What happens when an evil spirit comes out of a man? It goes through dry areas looking for a place to rest. But it doesn't find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.'  When it arrives there, it finds the house swept clean and put in order.  Then the evil spirit goes and takes seven other spirits more evil than itself. They go in and live there. That man is worse off than before." (Luke 11:24-26 NIrV)

Space will be filled with something, even if it’s just dust.  My cabinet was full of a few really necessary items and a lot of rubbish and dirt.  When this remodel is over, I must fill the space only with what is good and useful.

This remodel will be an event.  Keeping my house clean and clear afterwards will be a continued process.

Salvation is an event.  Being made holy is a process.  “For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.” (Hebrews 10:14 NIV)

I will never arrive at a time where maintenance is not necessary.  Never, this side of eternity, will I be able to just do nothing, if I want a clean house and a clean heart.

Keep hydrated...

A few short weeks ago, water covered much of the land just a few miles from our home.  Roads were closed, bridges washed out, homes destroyed, lives lost…all because of rainwater.

Today, I drove thru that same area.  The land is no longer standing in water.  The fields are plowed but they look different somehow.

We had water standing around our house those days ago, but there’s no water now.  No moisture at all in fact.  The grass is parched, we have dust instead of mud.  The grass is still a shade of green but it too, looks different somehow.

Living in the fallen world, we are reminded over and over that it is no longer a paradise.  Our garden days ended with the eating of the forbidden fruit, the knowledge of evil was chosen, and the rest is the history we are living out.

Rain is a blessing, but can be a curse.  We need water to survive, but water can kill.  Oh for a perfect balance!

My spiritual life is often a bit like this weather scenario.  There are times when my cup runs over with His filling Presence.  Other times, my spirit is dry and thirsty.

Tonight, I feel very thirsty.   Like David, “ On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.”   (Psalm 63:6 TNIV)

Like a strong willed child, I have to learn the hard way so often.  “I got this” seems to be my mantra.  Until failure comes that is.

“You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.   I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.” (Psalm 63:1,2 TNIV)

Tonight, I purpose to seek Him.   FIRST.  I purpose to pour out all else that fills me, inviting and expecting Him to fill me up to overflowing.  I ask to be so filled that His blessing splashes over to bless someone else.

In my sleepless night, I count the times of His faithfulness.  I praise Him for His provision.  I have experienced His Presence and power.  The reason my spirit is parched is not because of any lacking on His part, my spirit is thirsty because I do not come and drink.

Tonight, I feast.  No more parched ground,  “I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. “ (Psalm 63:5 NIV)

Hallelujah.

Flood water or spring water..."

It has been a year for flooding.  Water has swept across acres of crops ready for harvest.  Land has been redefined as rushing water carried away soil and left behind trenches and holes.  Bridges have failed, people have died.

Yet this is not a global flood, the rain did not fall for 40 days and 40 nights.  The fountains of the deep did not open up.

"In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, on the seventeenth day of the second month--on that day all the springs of the great deep burst forth, and the floodgates of the heavens were opened.  And rain fell on the earth forty days and forty nights."(Genesis 7:11-2 NIV)



I remind myself and others that even though much is destroyed, God's promise is that He will not destroy us with water ever again.  We may suffer loss, we may be inconvenienced, but humanity will not be wiped out with water.  The colors of the rainbow is a reminder for that promise.

Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him:   "I now establish my covenant with you and with your descendants after you  and with every living creature that was with you... Never again will all life be destroyed by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth."

" And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making.... I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds,  I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. " (Genesis 9:8-17 NIV)

Our Father has since used water many times in scripture to continue to teach us.  On this sleepless night, my mind churned with thoughts of further bridge closings.  I turned to scipture and read about water.....

"The words of a man's mouth are deep waters; The fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook."(Proverbs 18:4 NASB)

My mouth is a constant issue.  Today was one of those days when it was just way too busy.  I fear it was like this flood water today instead of a bubbling brook.  An artesian spring provides cool refreshing water.  Consistent.  Fresh. Clear and clean.

"A fool's lips bring strife, And his mouth calls for blows." (Proverbs 18:6 NASB) 

"A fool's mouth is his ruin, And his lips are the snare of his soul." (Proverbs 18:7 NASB) 

I confess that today, the words of my mouth bordered on violent and muddy.  I have excuses.  Good ones.  Yet again,  I have failed to "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my Redeemer." (Psalm 19:14 KJV)

I purpose that tomorrow my words will be as a fountain of wisdom and not a snare for my soul. 

I purpose that my words are clear and clean, not dark and destructive.

T.H.I.N.K.

T.H.I.N.K.

I googled the word and found   “direct one's mind toward someone or something; use one's mind actively to form connected ideas.”

I wonder if it isn’t the very last thing some of us do before speaking or acting.  I must confess that I’ve slipped right out of the habit of thinking.  I speak first and think later.  Usually with regret.  So, I turn to the book of James.  Again.  James has a lot to say about behavior, especially what comes out of my mouth.

 “A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything--or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.”(James 3:5-6 The Message)

I thought tonight about the acronym, T.H.I.N.K

Is it True?
Is it Helpful?
Is it Inspiring?
Is it Necessary?
Is it Kind?

Ouch. That ‘N’  gets me on a regular basis.  Is it necessary, or should I just hush up.

I am encouraged that James also lets me know that I will never arrive in this taming of my tongue.  “…you can't tame a tongue--it's never been done.” (James 3:8 The Message)

It is an ongoing battle even in this 60th year of life.  I am constantly challenged and regularly ashamed.  I forget that I need a divine editor and censor, even in ordinary conversation, and I will need it until my last breath.  But rather than continue to feel utterly defeated, I must look at my predicament as an opportunity for growth and for God to do a further work in me and thru me.

 I choose to  “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.” (James 1:2-3 The Message)

I want those true colors to be beautiful colors, not ugly.

I must not “….lose another minute in building on what I’ve been given, complementing my basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding,  alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder,  warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your my life, no grass will grow under my feet, no day will pass without its reward as I mature in my experience of my Master Jesus.” (2 Peter 1:5-8 The Message personalized by me)

Even speaking truth is not always helpful, inspiring, kind, or necessary.

I purpose to T.H.I.N.K. before I speak.
I purpose to speak life and not death.
I purpose to honor God with my words.

The rest of the story....

There is most always a ‘rest of the story’.  I am guilty of leaving out details to suit my spin on the story.  It’s easy to do.  It’s not a new thing, and I’m not the only one.  You might be guilty too.

I’ve been convicted in my spirit every time I read the story of the woman who was caught in her sin.  She wasn’t alone in her sin.  It takes two.

 “The religion scholars and Pharisees led in a woman who had been caught in an act of adultery. They stood her in plain sight of everyone and said, "Teacher, this woman was caught red-handed in the act of adultery.  Moses, in the Law, gives orders to stone such persons. What do you say?" (John 8: 3-5 The Message)


It seems to me the religious police didn’t tell the rest of the story.  Imagining what the rest of the story might be doesn’t change the woman’s guilt.  She had sinned. Yet I always find myself imagining what the rest of the story was.  Certainly there was a man involved.  Duh.  What about his sin?


“Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger in the dirt.  They kept at him, badgering him. He straightened up and said, "The sinless one among you, go first: Throw the stone." (John 8: 6-7 The Message)

Again, my imagination explores the possibilities.  Had the men holding the stones visited this woman?  What sort of men were they, the kind to undress women with their eyes?  Did they make crude or vulgar remarks to women?  After all,  “… don't think you've preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices--they also corrupt.” (Mat. 5:28 The Message)

They chose to drag this woman into the street and announce her sin.   Most likely she was naked, or perhaps clinging to the bed sheet from which she had been caught in sin.  Even if they were not guilty of her same sin, they were not without sin.  Neither am I.  And neither are you.

It was not necessary to humiliate her.  It was not necessary to announce it publicly.  Doing so was for the satisfaction of these self-pious men.  Maybe it made them feel superior.  Maybe it made them look like they were doing their job really well.

There may be a time when it is necessary and even beneficial to reveal a person’s sin.  But is it ever good to bring shame and embarrassment on purpose?  Surely there is always a better way.

Lord, help me to be part of restoration and not destruction.  I purpose to let you bring condemnation, never dragging someone’s fault into the public eye.  That is my desire, but I fail miserably.  I need Your help.  Forgive my failure.  Remind me before my next such sin.

The fruit of my labor...

Reading thru the Psalms, a phrase leaped off the page at me.  “You will eat the fruit of your labor…” (Psalm 128:2 NIV)

I sat up in bed reading those words, tired from a day at work and the struggles of life.  My belly is full, my body is sheltered and in comfort, I am safe and free.  I work.  Hard.  Regularly.  And I complain because other people don’t always.

I have enjoyed much fruit from my labor.

But….as I know oh so well, what I enjoy has been given to me.  Yes, I have worked.  I have labored.  But I have only participated in what God has laid before me.

I dedicated my workspace to Him.  I committed myself to be always mindful of my promise to Him, to put Him first in all things, including my day to day routine. I fully realize that the workplace I enjoy was provided from His gracious Hand.

When I forget that, when I find myself laboring alone, out from under His easy yoke, I soon find myself exhausted.  When I simply trust Him with the details and take one moment at a time, one day at a time, my energy level seems so much greater.  Why do I forget that everything is NOT up to me?

I don’t want to just eat the fruit of my own labor.  Why do that, when He has prepared such a feast and invited me to dine?

I purpose to get my eyes and trust back on Him.  I purpose to be a servant to God and to whomever He places in my life.  I repent of the pride and haughtiness that assumes I have the power and ability to accomplish anything of worth on my own, and once again recommit myself to seek His will.

And I return my head to my pillow this night expecting Him to quiet my soul.



“O LORD, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty; Nor do I involve myself in great matters, Or in things too difficult for me. Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child rests against his mother, My soul is like a weaned child within me.   O Israel, hope in the LORD From this time forth and forever.”(Psalm 131 NASB)

Does anybody really know what time it is.....??

The band Chicago sang it well.  “Does anybody really know what time it is?  Does anybody really care? If so, I can’t imagine why, we’ve all got time enough to cry.”

I hate the time change in the spring.  My body never knows what time it is.  Well, maybe my body knows.  Maybe it knows and it is screaming at me because I seem to be confused about it !!

“People runnin' everywhere, don't know the way to go, don't know where I am, can't see past the next step, don't have to think past the last mile, have no time to look around.  Just run around, run around and think why…”

My body doesn’t know which way to go.  It said stay at work, but the clock said go home.  The clock said go to bed, my body said no….let’s not.  Ugh.

Time is a complicated thing.  We are bound by it.  We put limits on it and stamp the activities of life with it.  I am fascinated that God is not affected in the slightest.  I look forward to being released from the clock.  I often think about what it will be like for time to vanish into eternity.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil?
I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race.
He has made everything beautiful in its time…..

 He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 NIV)

Does anybody really know what time it is?  No.  Not on God’s timetable.  We can watch for signs that the prophets have revealed to us, but nobody really knows.

 One day, time will stop.  He will break open the sky and we will be changed forever. He has certainly set eternity in my heart.  I am created in God’s image, I have eternal value.  I have within me a yearning for things to be right.  Perfect even.  But they are not.

Without Him, people certainly are runnin’ everywhere, don’t know the way to go.

Timing is important. Questioning God’s timing can lead us into rebellion against God’s plan. We may get ahead of Him.  We may even move forward withOUT Him, without His advice or guidance.  We may find outselves in despair upon doing so.

I purpose to stay close to the Author of time.  He knows what time it is.  I do not.

Our own bed....

Man it will be good to be in it tonight.  Three nights in a small hospital bed with it’s bedside recliner is a blessing when you need medical attention.  When you need rest, it comes up WAY short.

A phone text delivered a section of verses the first night.  It helped to set the tone of what turned into a three night stay.

 “On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.”  (Psalm 63:7 NIV)


Tonight, I’m laying my head down on my own king sized bed beside this man of mine, not in a chair next to him.  But I purpose to still remember thru the watches of the night, Who is our help, and we will sing again in the shadow of His Wings.

Hallelujah.

Drizzle or downpour…

I look out the window from a hospital room to see another dreary day.  Puddles on the roof below show sprinkles still falling.  Were the temperature several degrees cooler, it would be more of the sleet and snow of the past couple weeks.  At least it is liquid falling this morning.

The past two nights I’ve spent in this recliner thing they call a bed.  I sit waiting now for yet another test to determine what is going on with my man.  My stinky attitude won’t help his attitude so I call it in check.

He doesn’t want to be here.  He tries to explain away and rationalize the symptoms of stroke he experienced two mornings ago.  TIA they call it.  Transient Ischemic Attack.  It is rarely life altering unless it is ignored.  When this early warning signal is ignored, it could indeed be life altering.  Or even life ending.  Fatal.

This incident is like this drizzle.  It disrupted our lives. It tends to bring on doom and gloom.  It keeps us from doing what we would rather be doing. But it is not a monsoon.  It is not a flood.  It is a drizzle.

How thankful I am for the disruption.

This drizzle will not turn into a flood.  This early warning sign is acknowledged and steps will be taken to prevent future problems.  We will not pretend it is not raining and walk unprotected.

God again works all things together for good.  Our bodies age from birth.  At our age now, the process is certainly accelerating.  Yet He has His Hand on us once again.  His timing is perfect and I am thankful this man of mine has learned to hear and obey that still small Voice, even leading me when I fail to do so.

These days and nights in a hospital room will pass.  Life style changes will be made.  We will purpose ourselves to be wiser in caring for the bodies that are beginning to show the wear and tear of the years behind us.

I praise Him for the healing and restored health He brings about, in whatever method He chooses.

The drizzle still falls outside these windows, but we know His peace and we feel the warmth of His love.  I have no doubt that the sun will shine again, and we will soon be past this disruption.

Hallelujah.

I will be healed...

I sit tonight nursing a shoulder recuperating from a surgery 4 weeks ago.  I am weary of talking about it.  I am grouchy from the discomfort and from my life being interrupted.  My routine has been drastically changed.  My income is affected.  I can’t lift my arm to do a simple thing like put the dishes in the cabinet.

I am strong, independent, self sufficient, hard working, and determined. I am ashamed because of my whining and impatience.  My attitude stinks.

There isn’t a single thing I can do to change the condition of my body.  Yes, I submitted to a surgeon’s knife.  Yes, I do physical therapy.  I believe those things to be necessary, yet they did not miraculously return the use of my arm.

I am struck tonight at how many lessons I have been given these past months.  I had a new business to run, lots of demands on my time and money, and my arm fails.  After a surgery and a short physical therapy, I was back to work.  I had a few short months before the other arm began giving me the same warnings.  For much of the past 18 months, I’ve dealt with this.

Whine, whine.

My sense of self preservation has been of little benefit.  No matter that I put my ears back and dig in, my body is aging.  Determination and will power won’t do it.  A simple little bone spur shuts down my entire little independent self.  The enemy makes sure to throw a few darts of fear.  ‘What if….?”, he asks.

I know I should  “…forget not all His benefits, Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases..”(Ps. 103:3 NIV)

I know  Jesus said “do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.  For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.” (Luke 12:22-23 NIV)

He challenges me to “Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” (Luke 12:24-25 NIV)

Indeed.  Who?

"Think about how the lilies grow. They don't work or make clothing. But here is what I tell you. Not even Solomon in all of his glory was dressed like one of those flowers. If that is how God dresses the wild grass, how much better will he dress you! After all, the grass is here only today. Tomorrow it is thrown into the fire. Your faith is so small!

"Don't spend time thinking about what you will eat or drink. Don't worry about it. People who are ungodly run after all of those things. Your Father knows that you need them. "But put God's kingdom first. Then those other things will also be given to you.  (Luke 12:27-31 NIrV)


My ailment is so small, and I complain so big.  Oh that my faith would be as big as my complaining lately.

I am healed.

My sin is removed as far as the east is from the west.  That sin was my worse disease.  That sin was what crippled me.  That sin is what kept me from approaching God in sweet fellowship.

This arm thing is a nuisance that God will remove in His own time.  Hallelujah.

I remember....

On birthdays of family or friends I often give them a word gift.  I write a short note of things I remember about them.  It seems to be appreciated by the recipient but I think I may get more from it than they do.  I usually recall some tidbit that makes me once again appreciate the value of the relationship we have.

Remembering is hard for me.  It always has been.  In school, I couldn’t memorize poetry, I had a hard time remembering lists of things.  The Sr. English final exam was matching up lists of authors and their works.  I fretted about it the entire time I was in high school.  It was traumatic, I still wonder how I passed it.  Perhaps Mrs. Harrison had pity on me.

 I have very little memory of early years. My siblings speak of things I have no recollection of.  I really labor over some of those ‘I remember’ notes, but as I have cultivated the habit, it seems to have helped somewhat.

Tonight I exercise my memory again. As I turn to scripture I am amazed at how often my  Father has instructed me to remember!

“Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.”(Deut. 8:2 NIV)

“…remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth,..”(Deut 8:18 NIV)

“Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced..”(1Chron 16:12 NIV)

Over and over in scripture, God has told His people to remember, admonished them to not forget where they have been, how He has rescued, how He has provided.  Over and over, they did not.  When they looked with fear on their circumstance rather than looking in faith at the One Who had been so faithful, they forgot how powerful He is.  They forgot that He works in ways that are completely unexpected.  He speaks and it simply IS.  Over and over they forgot.

I purpose that I am not forgetful in that way.  I purpose to remember the faithfulness of my Father.

I have been in difficult situations and struggled for lengthy periods of time.  When I prayed for an escape He gave me grace sufficient to wait.  When it seemed like financial burdens would build up, like manna from heaven, there was always more than enough, even abundant blessing.  When I have put my trust in people, He has reminded me that people fail but He does not.  Ever.

My body fails and displays it’s limitations, it is only dust.  Just as Jesus warned Peter, “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."  (Matthew 26:41 NIV)  All my good purposes, all my good intentions, all my sincerity, all of it vanishes when He does not sustain me.  When I fail to remember Him, fail to speak to Him, fail to listen for His Voice, my flesh shows itself.  Fear and doubt raise their ugly heads.   He never withheld anything, but I stopped asking and receiving.

So I sit in the quiet late night and remember.  It is not my first trip around this wilderness.  Seems the scenery is a bit too familiar.  Maybe this will be my last pass by this way….

I purpose to remember every deliverance, every provision, and every direction, all the while listening and expecting that He will do the same again.

 He is faithful.
Always.
Hallelujah.

Daily Challenge...

Daily Challenge…..

On sleepless nights I often play solitaire on my iPhone.  The particular app I use has a daily challenge.  When you win it, you get a crown on the calendar for that day.  I think there are other perks to it but I just like to beat it for the day.

When the last card is successfully played and the game is won, the cards go flying in random directions all over the screen and then all come back together in suit.  What looks like a total mess ends up with them all in a neat little stack in perfect order.

In sleeplessness I carried my exhaustion in prayer to my Father, asking Him to bring some comfort and rest, then reached for my iPhone to beat that Daily Challenge for this day.  In my spirit I heard Him whisper,  "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.   For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.  What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” (Matthew 16:24-26 NIV)

It is a daily challenge, every moment of every day.  He never promised it would be easy, in fact His promise was that it would NOT be easy.  "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33 NIV)

Like the cards that go flying in every direction, things in my life often seem to be in total dissarray, a total mess, unorganized, and chaotic. But I know from my experience with Him that He brings all things together for good for those who love Him, for those who are called according to His purposes. (Romans 8:28)

Everything in my daily challenge is not good.  Everything that God does or allows is not necessarily to make me happy or comfortable.  But I know this….everything God does or allows is for purpose.  His purpose.  And I have committed myself to Him.

I purpose to continue on with the daily challenge.  When I get defeated, I rise up the next day and play again.

Besides….He has already won.  Every single hand.  "…take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33 NIV)

I will lose a hand, often.  But I continue the challenge and expect eventual victory because “the one who is in me is greater than the one who is in the world. (1John 4:4 NIV personalized by me)