I don't know which part of me is more tired.....

I’m pooped. My body is tired. My mind is tired. And as always, God’s Word speaks right on time and right on topic.

“….constant study wears you out so you're no good for anything else. The last and final word is this: Fear God. Do what he tells you. And that's it.

Eventually God will bring everything that we do out into the open and judge it according to its hidden intent, whether it's good or evil.” (Ecc. 12:12-14 The Message)
I purpose to stop going over details, stop all attempts to explain or understand. It just simply is..

I purpose to simply be His child, act like His child, and wait.

….and beg for His help to do so.

Praying ahead...

It is a short drive from our home to town. That 8-10 minutes drive has been prayer time for many years.

Protect.
Guide decisions.
Be fair to all.


See the spiritual as well as the physical.
Speak encouragement.
Mentor.
　

I have one list, he had another. You have yours, I hope….

Solomon’s advice for the workday ahead is this:
“Go to work in the morning and stick to it until evening without watching the clock. You never know from moment to moment how your work will turn out in the end.

Even if you live a long time, don't take a single day for granted. Take delight in each light-filled hour, Remembering that there will also be many dark days And that most of what comes your way is smoke.

You who are young, make the most of your youth. Relish your youthful vigor. Follow the impulses of your heart. If something looks good to you, pursue it. But know also that not just anything goes; You have to answer to God for every last bit of it.”

(Ecc. 11:6,8,9 The Message)
We aren’t young any more. Those of you who are, pay close attention.

Approach every day from God’s perspective. Pray ahead. Follow Him, don’t try to lead. Today is not just about today. The picture is far bigger than what you and I see.

And that’s a good thing. I’m glad I didn’t see this part of the picture years ago. It feels different than it would have looked to us then. Maybe because Kerry prayed ahead every morning….

Gloom, despair, and agony.....

Gloom, despair, and agony on me. Deep dark depression, excessive misery…                 ♫♪♪♫••*•♫♪♫•*•♫♪♪*♫♪♪♫••*•♫♪♫•*•♫♪♪*♫♪♪♫••*•♫♪♫•*•♫♪♪*

I loved Hee Haw. I think Solomon’s favorite skit would have been the singers whining about their bad luck.

 
"What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race………. And I saw something else under the sun: In the place of judgment--wickedness was there, in the place of justice--wickedness was there.” ( Ecc. 3:9,10,16 NIV )

“Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun..”(Ecc 4:1 NIV)

"There is one other thing I have learned. God made people good, but they have found many ways to be bad." (Ecc. 7:29 ERV)

　

I’ve lived many a day in the presence of heaviness like that. Seeing all the yuck that goes on in the world doesn’t do much for one’s spirits.

But in the face of what should be gloom and despair, there is little.

After standing against what is wrong under the sun for so many years, after seeing things upside down, injustice, corruption, oppression, hopelessness….

After seeing much despair and depression…..

There is reward and blessings. Blessed beyond measure by knowing that something done made a difference.

So now dear husband of mine…. “ Relish life with the spouse you love Each and every day of your precarious life. Each day is God's gift…..” (Ecc. 9:9 The Message )

Glory.

Are you happy, happy, happy?

Yes, I’m a Duck Dynasty viewer. If you’re not, you won’t get this….

Phil’s life story is profound. He didn’t call it ‘chasing after wind’ like The Teacher of Ecclesiastes , and he didn’t call it ‘chasing his tail’ like I do, he refers to it as ‘runnin’ after sex, drugs, and rock & roll’.

He often says something makes someone ‘happy, happy, happy’. But he will be the first to tell you that he never found any happiness until he surrendered to the God Who created Him. Not until he came to know and follow Jesus Christ was there anything that truly made him ‘happy, happy, happy’.

"Laughter," I said, "is madness. And what does pleasure accomplish?" (Ecc. 2:2 NIV)


“A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” (Ecc. 2:24-26 NIV)

I’ve wrestled often with the words Solomon wrote. He often seems depressed to me. Then again, I identify many times with him. Finding satisfaction in the work we do is important. But we will never be truly happy, happy, happy until we trust God with the outcome of our labor. 


Besides, being happy, happy, happy is not the same thing as being joyful, joyful, joyful. Amen?

Bury your head in the sand.....

I sure try. I didn’t want the scanner in the house, back when those were popular. I quit reading newspapers. I don’t watch the news. I distanced myself from as much possible.

I don’t want to know….Because if I know, it can’t be un-done. If I don’t know, it can’t hurt my feelings or cause me to worry. My mind doesn’t have a back-space bar or delete button. Unfortunately.

“For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.” (Ecclesiastes 1:18 NIV)

　

The price of wisdom is high. You gotta get your head out of the sand, and acquire some knowledge. Become part of bringing God and good into every aspect of your life, and every inch of the realm of your influence.

But be ready to suffer.

Long ago, I told my first daughter-in-law that the older I got, the more I realized how much I did not know. She didn’t like my comment, but has since wholeheartedly agreed with me. She has gained some wisdom, and it brings sorrow and grief.

The more truth you know from God’s Word, the more evil you will recognize.

The more imperfections you identify, the more powerless you feel.

　
“…for the joy of the LORD is our strength." (Nehemiah 8:10 NIV personalized by me)

　
Thank You Lord God for the joy you give, even in the face of sorrow. Thank You that we are not without Your comfort and help. Help me to keep my head out of the sand.

What is the profit margin?

In retail, it is simple to figure. Merchandise is marked up with a certain percentage and sold for that profit.

What is the profit margin in life….how do you measure it?

If whatever we do has no eternal fruit, there is no profit. You can live in the biggest house in town, drive the most expensive car on the market, have a fat bank account, wear the finest garments….and have accomplished absolutely nothing profitable.

After reading thru Proverbs I continue this morning into the writings of “The Teacher”.

Solomon was the wisest, richest man ever. At the end of his life, he looks back critically on all that he had experienced and accomplished. Most of it he considered as what he called vanity and I refer to as ‘chasing my tail’.

　

　

“What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?” (Ecclesiastes 1:2 NIV)


Looking back on the live we have lived, we look for the profit. We look for eternal value, a life that was changed, re-directed, protected.

There is fruit. We have been shown a few small fruits. Encouraged…

Ugh...that Proverbs 31 woman !!

Who of us can measure up to her?!?

Certainly I fail in much of it, but this I do not. “Her husband is respected at the city gate…..” (Proverbs 31:23 NIV)

While some people think the problem situations in the community are Kerry’s fault, and some people have no confidence in him, he has received many words of encouragement and respect from the citizens of the city.

(vs. 15) “She gets up while it is still night…” (Yes, but only because I can’t sleep !!)
　

(vs. 25) “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come..” (oh I hope so…)
　

　

My day will be ordinary. Well, except for the conversation about recent events. It is my desire to move forward. My mind and heart are tired of it all. I say that, yet so easily I am drawn into talking about what nobody can fully understand.


Most of you reading my words can not possibly empathize. As I often tell others, you can’t know what you don’t know.  

Most all of you sympathize, but few of you know what it’s like by personal knowledge. And that is good. I would not wish that you have the knowledge and experience of what has just come to an end.


“Without wood a fire goes out…” (Proverbs 26:20a NIV)

I purpose today to not throw logs on the fire. God help me.

It is over....

No more calls in the middle of the night.

No more training and fretting over young officers.

No more interruptions as we try to enjoy a meal out.

No more lots of stuff…

No more wearing a badge and a gun.

　

　

　

　

God speaks again thru scripture, right where I pick up again.

“The start of a quarrel is like a leak in a dam, so stop it before it bursts.” (Proverbs 17:14 The Message)


Quarreling is not constructive. This has been highly visible. It was my husband’s choice that this be done in the open, not under the table or cloaked in any way.

We don’t live or work in/for the city of New Boston. While it is over for us, perhaps it is not over for you. As we have assured our two sons, we are at peace with this decision. We have no desire for this to turn into ugliness. For those of you who disagree with the decision that has been handed down, I challenge you to take whatever steps you take, in a right way.

　

I am comforted by His continued inspired Word.

　

“When the LORD takes pleasure in anyone's way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them.” (Proverbs 16:7 NIV)

Laughter is the best medicine...

“Moderation is better than muscle, self-control better than political power.
Make your motions and cast your votes, but GOD has the final say.”
(Proverbs 16:32,33 The Message)



God decided to make me laugh.

I picked up where I left off, and this is what He says....chuckle. He does have a sense of humor !!



I appreciate every single text, inbox message, comment, phone call, hug, and especially prayers spoken with us and for us. I won't enter into conversations on Facebook about this, but do want to acknowledge your encouragement, your friendship, and your loyalty. They mean more than you can possibly know.

In the face of dishonor, we receive an outpouring of honor, respect, and love.

God has the most incredible ways of getting things done. We anticipate tonight with confidence, and I DO use that word on purpose….

I just felt like runnnniiinnngggg........

Another movie favorite, Forrest Gump. Oh how many times I’ve heard lines repeated from sweet, simple, wise Forrest Gump.

When asked why he was running across America, he said, (with a baffled look on his face about the question), “I just felt like running.”

It brings to mind another line, not one from a movie, but from one of the many arrest situations Kerry has been involved in. “Pinkham, you’re the fastest ______ white man I ever saw!!”

We’ve repeated it hundreds of time, (without filling in that blank). If you took off running, Kerry Pinkham would chase you. And he’d catch you. (…happened again not too long ago.)

Kerry is also known for his handshake. Many fellow officers down thru the years have been ‘put down’ with his massive hand and its incredible strength. Every new young officer wanted to try him. He loved it, certainly it was a stress reliever from the work they do. (A touch of arthritis has made him a little less ready for the handshake challenges…)

　

“The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old.” (Proverbs 20:29 NIV)

“Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness.” (Proverbs 16:31 NIV)

Though his dark hair is now silver, he can still run, but you will never see him running away.

He is still the strongest man I know.

He's got a plan, a-formulatin' in his mind !!!!

My guys know some movie scripts word for word. When together, they are known to think of one of them, pick up a character, and off we go….. The conversation becomes a recitation of every word, of every scene, of the entire movie.

One of their favorites is an old Don Knotts movie, Shakiest Gun In The West. Don Knotts’ character claimed to have ‘a plan, a-formulatin’ in his mind.’

　

　

So did we.

We planned ahead.

But often, plans made differ from what the Lord has planned. As our plans seem not to come to fruition, we must submit the outcome to the God Who is sovereign over all.

I am yet again in awe of how faithfully God speaks to me thru scripture. I began this look thru Proverbs weeks ago. Of all places to find comfort, this is not my go-to place, but I have found it here daily.

　

“Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21 NIV)

My plan is to work as I am physically able, then hope the social security I have paid in all these years will provide a little income to add to what small amount I have been able to save.



The plan for Kerry was a couple years more work, then file for his retirement, leaving behind a very long tenure, not with a parade and party, but with honor.

That may not happen. Certainly, the coming last years of our ‘plan’ does not look like what we anticipated.

But the Lord’s purposes will prevail. Whatever He intends for us, it is good. Whatever purpose He has in allowing this season of trial, we continue to pray that we will trust Him completely, honoring Him in our conduct.

My husband’s desire is that nothing is done in secret. Whether that wish will be granted, we don’t know. Most assuredly, Kerry Pinkham has nothing to hide. But in this too, we trust God to be sovereign over the situation, revealing what he deems best.

We appreciate your words of affirmation, and especially your prayers.